Once, my good friend told me: I like America, because it’s so easy to make friends there”. Yesterday, my neighbor told me:”Yulia, it shouldn’t be hard for you to make friends here-you are very communicative”. Well, I thought about these two statements and I was wonder why it is not that easy for me at all?
It’s pretty common for all cultures that after the family, friends come next. This friends circle is important. I always thought that friendship is like a little love. You never know when and why it started, you can just guess. Is it that easy to make friends even if you are very communicative, have a lot of people? How huge is the difference between real friendship and good acquaintances? There are several routes friendship can grow from: sometimes, friendship starts from first sight-you see the person, talk to him/her, like them, you want to meet and talk more and more and you became close so naturally, without any efforts, as think alike kind of people. Sometimes friendship is situational-which means you became friends with people because you live close by, or take the same class, or work at the same office and your tables are next to each other. This type of friendship can disappear as soon as the situation is changed, but it also can grow into a real one. Some friendship is dependable-one person depends on the other for advice, help, etc. (it’s can be mutual or a one-way road). However, majority of real friendship relationships require time. It’s easier to make friends when you study, or are young, or have a mutual interest (don’t confuse with situational friendship though). So, friends I know for 20 years and more live in Russia and Europe and I miss them. I have several friends here, and I may build new friendship as well over time. However, it’s all not that easy. My husband likes to simplify things. When he sees me talking and laughing with some random girl at the party, he likes to say: Oh! I see you found a new friend!” Male are different. Naturally they don’t talk for 1.5 hours with someone they don’t know. They feel much more comfortable with sofa and TV (or sofa and newspaper – it’s various). However, majority of women need company. It’s hard to explain that if women talk for an hour (and they probably didn’t even start real talk yet), that they are not exactly friends or they even may not like each other. This is the way of many women-they think and learn through socializing. But friendship is different. It’s almost like love, it’s tricky as love, and sometimes we need it almost as much as we need love. Are you agree?